I am home on sick leave today -the day I never wanted to be out of office. I have lots of things on my “to-do list” (as usual) but I woke up with an excruciating pain from my head to my shoulders. I couldn’t move and/or scream for the slightest movement causes pain enough to send me to delirium. Stiff neck, I said to myself. Is this really this painful?
The researcher in me raised my thoughts to thousands of illness whose signs and symptoms include stiff neck. Meningitis, nope, my head doesn’t hurt. Meningococcemia, nope, I’ve been vaccinated for that. Sipped disc, probably, I don’t think I can feel my legs. Did I lift something heavy yesterday? Can’t remember.
I am now desperate to take control. With every thought, the pain intensifies. But I still kept thinking, could I send someone to get my laptop?
Can I join the training via mobile phone?
Can I ask our assistant to send me the documents via courier?
It is getting worse. Maybe it is best to let go and rest. I have no control over pain.
Finally, I did what I know I should have done before I started worrying. It was really foolish (and self-centered) to think of it as my last resort.
I surrendered to pain and prayed to God. I let go of my selfish control. The Lord is now my Advil and though I don’t know how long this stiff neck will last and whether it will get better or worse, I rest to know my God heals.