I am so stressed out for the past 3 weeks – juggling my so-called “work-life” activities one after the other. I am working harder and faster more than ever but I am still not getting at the bottom of my “things to do” list. I usually murmur in between tasks that I have so many things to do in such so little time and because having a vacation could not be my option right now, I took the time out the easiest way I know how – I watched TV.
I was watching this late-night Koreanovela when a sudden realization came to me. The story’s plot is set on Christmas eve and the heroine is preparing to go back to her hometown. In her hometown, her kid brothers and sisters were preparing to portray the birth of Jesus in time for the Christmas eve celebration. As I was beginning to imagine the “usual” manger scene – with Mary and Joseph looking at baby Jesus and the animals standing in awe- the kids started telling the hero that the heroine will be playing the part of the Holy Spirit. I said to myself, “That was new; the Holy Spirit is usually not shown in the manger story”. When the next scene was flashed, there was actually no manger. Only little kids dancing in celebration of their Savior’s birth. At their back is the heroine, portraying the Holy Spirit, leading the group in celebration.
At that moment, I must admit that I didn’t bother with the theological perspective of the Holy Spirit’s presence at the manger scene. What bothered me is the realization that I am still not very conscious of the Spirit’s presence – God’s presence- in my life.
Take for example the reasons for my “everyday” stresses for the past 3 weeks. My “top-of-mind” response is that these are very “human-ly”, work-related concerns that I should not bother God about. Bothering God would mean that I don’t trust Him enough to see me through all my troubles. But trusting God would mean depending on Him and depending on Him means I should be bothering Him for things that concern me because in truth, these very “human-ly”, work-related things are important parts of my everyday life that whenever I come to prayer, my heart shouts of it loud and strong even before I could say “Dear Lord”. And though I could not admit it straight-forwardly, I have been trying to “box” God up and confine Him to my church and “spiritual” issues that I entirely miss the point of being with Him – being in Him. Being with Him and in Him means He need to be involved in all aspects of my life – inside and outside the church – because there is really no such a thing as inside or outside the church. There’s only me and my life. And for that – God is more than enough.