December 2, 2007
Last Friday, the discipleship team met again and had a brain-jolting session about judging. It was said that believers were to make judgments. And from that discussion, God opened my heart and saw something regarding “heart” matters. Presently, I am deeply distressed with the incidents of my family at Baclaran and had been praying for revelations so as to make things up. I am troubled as well for I had been praying for ministerial tasks and envisioned myself leading people but leaving my own family. It was a hard time. It would be hard, and it would greatly affect my ministry. Such thoughts came into me and almost rushed into a conclusion that God didn’t really call for ministerial purposes. But thank be to my beloved God, He has a better vision of what’s going on the movie and mine’s limited. God revealed to me that in order for my family understand my deepest desires and actions, they have to see my heart. My motives should be bolder than my actions and thoughts. My intentions should speak louder than how I talk, sing, lead, work and play.
Matthew 5 states that the “light” of the disciples is somehow a reason for men to praise God. I was first thinking that it refers to the visible, labeled works as good. But it kicked me off to know that those things are quite deceptive and cannot be a good basis for men to genuinely worship God. Hebrews 11:6 says that it is impossible to please God without faith. And faith, as defined by the author of the letter to the Hebrews, is the certainty of unseen things. Therefore, only men who have faith can praise and please God, otherwise, it’s a self-righteousness device. My point here is that the light will only attract particular men who also have lights in them or probably, have a candle but haven’t been lighted. It is a heart matter, and it requires faith. It requires eyes that can pass through visible works. And these eyes are granted, not acquired, they are given, not taken. And if this something that what’s going to happen, it is very encouraging to learn that God is at work and not men. It gives me ease to know that if God will bring people that have lights or candles in them, the kind of flame that God lighted in me can be passed, and it will pass on generations.
Having this things learned gives me joy. It seems that I won’t be putting any effort in my part because God works with the inner, producing heart-felt obedience to the law, and showing great volumes of fire to attract others. So this is the heart of the mission, showing our hearts, the joy in it, and becomes the basis for others to say “Behold, a Christian indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” (A paraphrased statement from John 1:47)